Ok my heart feels very sour now.Rachel saw my girlfriend* just now, and requested for a photo together.She wanted to get my girlfriend to write a personalized note to me, but she didnt do so eventually.If only I got a note from my girlfriend saying smth like, "jasmine, work hard for your a'levels ok!", I will definitely be motivated to mug hard everyday.

*dont take it from a lesbianic point of view.it's really not what you think.

What we are all trying to do is to walk as fast as possible so we''ll forget how meaningless everything actually is.

I have half day break tmrw, thanks to the prev batch's woderful a'level results.This week's gonna be real trying.GG everyone.

"Every monday I come to sch, I start counting down to friday."

Everyone was giving dead faces during chi until the teacher just gave up and released us 1 hour earlier.HGeog tutorial was even worse, jchia totally went crazy because not one was replying him."Walao can you guys talk?".

It's true that the entire jc curriculum just drains you out completely.But I doubt I'll ever regret ditching polytechnics.Yea life isnt very smooth sailing right now, but its precisely because you go through all this kind of shit thats why you come out of it being a stronger person.I'm really thankful for all the awesome people around, they make things seem a whole lot better.

Gonna recharge myself this weekened with good sleep and good food.Next week is going to be even more hectic with SMO, proj work PI, trainings, econs proj draft, maths LT test, maths summation test, hgeog test, physics test, econorave deadline.

But I'm not dying.At least not yet.

I like to stare into the open skies and watch areoplanes fly.Therein lies my private thinking space.

Yay I think I dont need to re-do the econs assignment.Anyway, I came up with the term lava spill.It's not very funny what yet 0932 and my CT couldnt stop laughing.Crazy.But I thought the panda bears one was pretty funny, where got such thing called panda bears! Only pandas exist, not panda bears.Gotta love the class.

Just had a monster training.I cant even type this properly becos my hands are shivering.Ran in the rain, 30 laps consecutively.Modified leg lifts was the killer.But I managed to get the straight shuttle drill, so I'm pretty happy actually.

I think my school's really cool.The teachers literally mass sms the entire sch abt spot check/fire drills dates beforehand.Damn awesome.Had a fire drill practice in the morning, got a culture shock.The whole sch including the teachers, were all happily strolling to the field.I think we completed the drill in what, 30mins.Back in plmgs, teachers will start screaming their heads off if the drill timing exceeded 8mins.Super funny pls all of us brought our bags down- "aiyah maths tutorial dont care la, just let it burn".

I'm gonna be really busy soon.Events/datelines are popping up one by one.

Its not easy, but the first step has to be taken anyway.

New impetus.New vigour.New drive.

I strive for certain things not because I want to prove anything to anyone, it's just because I want it.You can doubt my abilities, but not my fortitude.

"Just run, dont ask."

I concur.

Happily sat for geog lecture test without even printing my paleomagnetism notes, didnt realize its existence at all.I'm legendary.

S:I never study for geog test leh, I scared the lecturer scold me...
JB: Pls lah he wont scold one.Even if he scold, you scared meh!

I passed the YOG project board to mich becos I was lazy to carry it around, and she actually left it at some ulu part of school without bringing it home.The board contains the entire group's blood and sweat leh.She whole day only care about, what liverpool beat aston villa 5-0 (I'm one of the providers of the live score becos I rushed to check the scores with kuek right after assembly today hahaha jc life rocks).If you must know, mich & kuek are the ultimate liverpool haters becos they support manchester.u and apparently liverpool is reigning the current BPL games.You must really witness zining's gloated face aft knowning her fav liverpool crashed aston villa.I swear that she cannot coexist with kuek and mich.

Anyway even though mich annoys me everyday with her annoying face, I'm still very grateful for her because she willingly let me drag her into all kinds of shit since the beginning of sch until now.I cant imagine what if she backs out of everything, I will be left alone like a poor soul.Hahaha yay mich I'm indirectly praising your importance so you should give me more mints during lecture/tuts.

Decided that this space should have lesser nugatory rantings abt daily life, and more of personal thoughts.This isnt gonna be an emo blog, it'll just be an outet where I express myself and keep in touch with my emotions.So pls dont come up to me and make references with my post, thinking that something earth-shaking must have happened to incite such provoking posts.If I wanted your comments in the first place, I would have inserted a tag-board right?

Shall tie up the loose bits for geog assignment and finish it off right now.

People who play the piano with an intense look on their faces impresses me deeply.It's not that kind of serious expression I'm referring to, it's more abt the kind of immense passion they have thats written all over their faces.

I cannot understand whats with the craze over doing redundant quizzes on facebook and everywhere else.Who really cares what your IQ is and which animal best represents you? There is seriously more important things to do in life.Sucks to share the same planet as you guys.

Oh yeah, happy 18th birthday rachel hon.Cant wait for yr a'levels to hurry end so we can go crazy altogether again.Love you.

Read all my fellow 0932 comrades' blogs.Everyone sounds really stressed up, totally diff from what they were during the madagascar days.The vibe is fading.It'll be much worse off when sch reopens I guess.But thats just life isnt it.

As expected, this week is crazy.I'm desperately trying to free up some time for myself.Like seriously just myself and myself.I feel so aimless out of a sudden, I need to find my soul back.Hahahahaha this is my cue to eat hello pandas because it is where my soul lies.

Met up with mich, kuek and super mario (he cut his hair!) for maths consultation which was quite useless from my view cos I was pratically stoning at my worksheet.Apparently we met james chia (CT) as well, so my maths tutor was commenting to him, "the students in yr class are so hardworking...they came to consult me abt maths".You can never guess what james chia replied.

"Thats not called being hardworking.It's called being stupid." He's damn mean right!

I used to think life sucks.But I realized that phrase doesnt apply anymore.Life does not suck because I dont even have a life to begin with.No life.Anyway I owe the minstry 80 bucks for sch fees and apparently my mom doesnt want to pay the outstanding amount for me cos she's still angry over the salmon spread incident yesterday.I might get kicked out of sch anytime soon.

Didnt wanna turn up for proj management this morning but I didnt have the heart to abandon kuek, so I dragged myself to sch literally.I ponned the later half of the workshop anyway, with charlie, kuek and ks.Over to charlie's place to check out his mega fabulous house.His house is big and nice.I like.And he doesnt ever swim in his house even though he has a private pool! Damn wasted can! I shall maximise his pool to its full potential by bringing all my water guns over next time.

I threw half a can of salmon spread into the bin and my mom found out.She's damn pissed abt it so she refuses to talk to me.She doesnt wanna give me any lunch money either, she told me to "dig out the salmon spread from the dustbin and eat it" if I'm hungry.She was ranting abt all the karma stuff and how I might not have any food in my next life.Ultimate champ.

I dont dare to look at the apgp extra tutorial qns, afraid that I'll be demoralized.I aim to sleep at 3am which is actually damn late/early, whichever way you want to see it.

Spent 8 hours in sch doing nothing except playing kashing's iPhone and surfing random sites on charlie's macbook.The two of them are such nice guys because they let me hog their stuff the whole day without saying anything.I shall bring my psp tmrw and kuek's bringing her ds-lite, we're gonna kill boredom with our gadgets.Oh yeah btw kuek has food poisioning so she needs to consume 20 carbon pills a day, quite hilarious ahhahahaha I was making fun of her the whole time.

Dropped by girlfriend's place after sch.She passed me her tough jeansmith wallet! I finally finally have a decent wallet without coins dropping out every now and then.I just realized today that her house has a swing! I've been to her place so many times and I've never taken notice of it before!

I wanna go meet jerica tmrw! Havent seen her for ages! Seriously miss her like anything.I dont really like people who are younger than me, and she's the only exception.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Mum just called, she's getting the nike carrier for me right now.It's abt $90 bucks and she actually volunteered to get it for me.Love her.I shall psycho her to get me the ipod nano when she gets home.It sucks to have me as a daughter, I know.

Got an email reply from lyndon lim, I really missed the times I tortured him with my tys. "We met in 1B2 2005 and now you're already in JC ".He's right, time really flies.I miss my amaths teacher also, wong gim leng! Seriously hahahahahaha I must call her soon.I can still vividly rmb the o'levels period whereby she would sms me almost everyday asking me how my papers went and nagging at me to sleep early.

I have nothing but burned out holidays and jam-packed schedules.But I'm not complaining because I know some others are having it worse.

I just had my super fav gelare waffles.I feel happy.




Hello mich I dont know if you're looking at this.Just wanna let you know that no matter what comes your way, I'll be there for you ok.Pls remember to throw away yr bottle like you promised me.We're gonna ride the storms together and make these two years the best days of our lives.Peanut butter ftw!

I just realized marc and the other two are leaving for tekong in less than 12 hours.Time passes really really fast I cant believe they're really starting on army life alr.Anyw you three pls take care.

Read allan ooi's suicide message today, it's the real version because it's first-hand.Apparently he's friends with my form teacher.Somehow his message got me thinking.I can really empathise with him becos the things he went through are just so real.He has the looks, the brains, the money.But seriously, so what.It's just emptiness within.I cant disclose the full content of the message because I dont think it's very nice to do so.

If you could just let go of things and open yr hearts up, you'll realize the pure beauty of life.

It's gonna be a tough week ahead.But I'll survive.

So long as I have to climb the stairs for more than one level, I must take the lift.Thats the principle I live by in school.

Right after break, I was walking along with the other 5 guys when I suddenly realized we have to climb 3 levels to the next class.I lamented abt wanting to take the lift, so Charlie called out to the other guys, "ok guys lets all take the lift!".Out of a sudden.......

JQ: Walao fuck the lift lah

Hahahahhahaha I personally thought it was quite hilarious.Could never imgaine jieqi saying that.He says the weirdest stuff.

Over to kuek's country club to chill after sch and did up some maths tutorials, got crazy over this sum which we cannot solve.Walked down to chomp chomp to meet wt and alyn for dinner.We did our maths tutorials there as well.Quite funny hahahahahaha it's like I was trying to do maths sums whereas the uncle beside me is frying char kway tiao.The atmosphere was totally wrong.

Anyw I saw the raffles institution squash team training omg they're seriously good.

There's apgp test tmrw.I just hope to pass, even if its on the dot.That will keep me happy for the rest of my life.I dont get the concept of summation either, and there's lecture tmrw.How! I hardly pay attention during lectures I just eat mentos only.

I'm thinking of quitting the team.I feel lousy.

Dont doubt.

Nothing less, nothing more.Just trust.

I am officially liberated.Took one entire week to come up with the several pieces of shit you see above.I think I'll get a failing grade. I wrote redundant stuff, just for the sake of chalking up word count.

I'm taking part in the squash open tmrw.I love to find trouble, dont I? HAHAHAHAHA MY FIRST OPPONENT IS NONE OTHER THAN THE J2 TENNIS TEAM CAPTAIN, ITS GONNA BE SO AWKWARD BECAUSE I JUST QUIT THE TENNIS TEAM LAST WEEK.I'm just there to whack balls for fun, I hope she doesnt take things too seriously.

Fever hit 39 degrees yesterday so I didnt turn up for cross country.I wanted to turn up cos I dont want to get into complicated shit regarding my absence.But obviously I didnt turn up ahhahahaha I kept trying to psycho myself that I'm sick so I'm not suitable to run today.

But guess what! I was told that the race was cancelled eventually becos of the rain, and attendance is not even taken! Just tell me, how lucky is this?

Uploaded my PI document onto litespeed and I realized that I wrote the least words among the entire class.Demoralizing.It's time to chiong MRP now.

Very sick now but I'm still trying to chiong PI, decided to give up on MRP for the time-being.I seriously seriously hope I get back my voice tmrw becos I've alr got great stuff lined up! Most probably heading to kbox with the entire class aft sch and meeting the plmgs girlfriends for dinner (I cannot make it anymore argh).Anyw pris heung I miss you like damn alot, meet up for longkang fishing/cold rock soon pls.

Spent $11 on pegasus' shirt.Thats why I die die also must turn up for cross country this sat, must show off my shirt ahahhaha $11 bucks leh! I'm going to wear it during dress-downs, need to make my money worth it.Anyw I have aids hahahahaha PEANUT'S FAULT LA.

I'm comtemplating between the china or thailand ISLE trip during the year end.19 days is a serious matter ok, I go sch camps for 2 nights only I homesick until like damn sick.Can you imagine 19 days.......if I go china I will definitely climb the great wall and jump off.Oh yea talking abt jumping off right, you know the recent ntu case.The student should have just killed the professor la, if not the student seriously died for nothing.I mean like if you know you're gonna jump off a roof later, at least commit a crime thats worth your death right?

Ok the above para sounds like a bad reflection on my moral values hahahaha but you know I'm really not like this.I'm an angel with a great heart actually.

COUGHING LIKE SHIT NOW, TMRW KBOX MY ASS LA.

Situations like this, the sense of urgency should be running high.Precisely because you're not worried, thats why I'm worried for you.

Darn it, PI is due this friday and I havent even read the handouts yet! I dont know which groundbreaker to choose! I hope someone protest to james chia tmrw so he'll postpone the deadline.He always rescues us from all kinds of shit.0932's supposed to have spot check during assembly but becos he knows the girls' uniforms are absolutely not up to standards, he said some shit to the disciplinary comm so end up we got no spot check yay.You should have seen kuek and I, we FREAKINGLY DASHED out of LT3 to adjust our uniforms.Serious ok we totally flewed out of the door pls embarrrasing ttm.We damn excited for spot check, long time dont have alr.I can still rmb spot checks at plmgs, "girls who have long nails pls come to the front to cut yr nails!".

I'm having sore throat again.Why like that.

Just ended training.The coach talked to me personally for awhile, I knew where she was coming from and her words were quite motivational.Subtle happiness, but I dont want to be a shooting star.If you get what I mean.

I really wanna wanna wanna wanna sleep now.The plastic surgery show season 2 is airing later, whoohoo!

Training ended at 830pm, I got home at 9pm.It's depressing to see the sch compounds being so dark.Even the soccer guys get to go home earlier! I did 6 rounds for PE (outer lanes), and I was bombarded with 20 laps during training.There's training & PE again this wed, plus 3.2km cross country on saturday.I've never done so much running within one week before.And then there's also everyone's fav- NAPFA, WHICH IS LIKE COMING UP REALLY SOON OMG.Means the sch will force us to train our lives out.I think I wont die from the stress of jc life, I will die from running itself.

My head's throbbing, I'm tired and I really wanna crash onto my bed alr.But I have tons of notes to print.The MRP research and PI keeps bugging me as well.Right, and I just got reminded to print some econs fta shit.There's so many other things to do yet I have chi lesson at 730 tmrw.I thought I could sleep in or smth.But nvm my chi teacher damn bloody funny, she'll definitely kickstart my day with a big bang! I hardly compliment pple abt being funny, cos I have very high humourous standards.So if I say she's damn bloody funny, you know she's really damn bloody funny.

"Why are your eyebrows so high? You look as if you are permanently confused! "

HAHAHAHA THE ABOVE STATEMENT QUITE FUNNY RIGHT.

Its overwhelming.You werent like this before.I dont know why things turned out this way.I'm sick of being the one that's always trying to clear the mess.I'm trying to break the barriers, are you oblivious or plain ignorant? And honestly, I'm baffled by that stucked up attitude of yours.Yes yes, I know you're smart.But if you open yr eyes big enough to see the world, you'll realize the dynamism that revolves around the definition of smart.Stop competing with me anymore, I'm not worthy to be yr competitor anyway.Like you said, I'm stupid.Rmb?

I know you're reading this.You know I'm talking abt you, so pls dont act as if you dont know its you.

多少次跌跌撞撞，多少次泪在眼眶，终究没有退让。
我，创造属于我的辉煌。

不是我不能，是我要不要。