People ask me why is it so hard to trust. And I ask them why is it so hard to keep promises.

The truth is everyone is going to end up hurting you someday. Just find the right people worth suffering for.

Hi it's teachers day and I was in college for abt 2 hours only, before deciding to go back and sleep. I'm not even going back to plmgs later. I am such a horrible and ungrateful person. Got accused of smth this morning which I'm still very angry about until now. Cmon please, stop shooting your mouth off without proper basis. I will never do such lowdown acts. I feel so humiliated. Its because of suckers like you thats why I lost faith in the entire human race.

Meeting all the fav girls for lunch now! I hope I will feel happier later. Life is always full of shit.

Sometimes I wish you’d pay more attention to my favourite songs, because the lyrics sing the words that I’m too scared to say.

I have so many documents on my laptop now I take forever to sieve out the correct file I want. EOM drafts, WR drafs, PI drafts, GPP drafts, english camp proposals, ISLE games plan, ISLE itinerary, netball interhouse briefing list.etc and tonnes of other tutorial/lecture notes I've yet to print out.

I want to burn the sch down on teacher's day. Breakfast in the morning with jinzz love later.

Mich this is for you.

"I wish the night wouldnt end so we could keep talking like this forever".

After all these years, you're still irreplaceable.

I feel more comfortable talking to strangers than people I know. I believe this is because chances are, I’ll never see them ever again. And I feel like I can say anything I want. They don’t know my past or what I’ve done. They can only judge me on who they are seeing right that second. I’m the person I am now, not then. People I know don’t see the difference.

You gotta love tumblr.

I wasnt like this last year. I was much happier back then.

Somedays I just want to leave everything behind right here and run away.

"no lah where got somedays only. everyday pls"

But anyway I'm pretty happy that I have floppy hair now. Not like it would make a diff to anyone since I always tie up my hair. Damn happy please I love floppy hair to the max. It's so messy thats why its so cool. Emo hair. I'm going to show it to shermin and mich one day, so I can swish my fringe up to let it fall slowly and cover my eyes. Then I'll end it off with my fav style thing.

PE made me very happy. I laughed so hard and so much. Photo-taking was rather enjoyable too. Had fun laughing at people and being laughed at. It's been a long long time since I last wore a sch tie. It's a pity gummy bear didnt turn up today if not we could have taken our first complete class photo.

There's so many things to do until I dont know what's there to do. I can go crazy anytime. I hope jiwei remembers to bring the heart-shape paper tmrw so I can write her a msg and put it up on the encouragement board. She pasted her msg for me alr, damn funny pls she purposely wrote so many "lol lol lol" on it because she knows I hate that word hahahaha. Anyway thanks jiwei!

I have daily afternoon naps which spans till the late evenings. I've always felt very comforted when I'm about to sleep. Its such a good avenue to escape from all the things you have to face, albeit temporarily. Sometimes I think I must be the most horrible person in the world because I sleep all day long and engage in unproductive activities. I'm surrounded by all these incredibly hardworking and diligent individuals in college who indirectly makes me feel ashamed abt myself. I only open my school bag at 9/10pm every night. 43 more days. Sounds like eternity.

If life at 17 already paints such a bleak picture, the future is really unimaginable. Okay I must be feeling pensive right now because I didnt eat my hello pandas.

Cant believe it's the start of a new week again tmrw. There's so many things left to be done and it's always piling up. Didnt do much during the weekends, except to catch up on sleep. I volunteered to type the camp proposal into the templates but I realized there's many gaps here and there. I cannot contact leslie too, the contact list obviously isnt revised properly yet.

I'm finally taking time off to run again later. It's great to sweat it all out. The countdown banner in the college atrium has the ability to transform slackers to muggers. But apparently it's isnt exerting effects on me. Everytime I see the banner I have an impulse to set it on fire. I dont like the use of such mechanisms which works on the subconscious of one's mind.

Dinner with mom at kovan. I bumped into pris there. Damn it I havent seen her for such a long time and there was so many things I wanted to say. Right in the middle of the crowd, we just stood still and hugged. Reading those sweet mesages and notes she wrote never fails to put a smile onto my face. I love you, blueberry.

I wild the entire day away. This is the reason why I should die.

I have such high sensitivity to even the simplest of things which is why I'm so easliy irritated. I hate how vivid images of certain scenarios are so deeply etched in my mind. This morning I saw how the girls kicked duofu's bag down the steps and there was a few who just stood by and laughed.

There are times whereby certain things dont come across in a funny manner anymore. Maybe you can just chalk everything up to sensitivity or whatsoever. But aiyah I just had to say it out so it's up to you how you want to interpret it. I'm so hungry now I only had two muffins for dinner! I woke up late from my nap and dinner was all finished up! Horrible family.

And you, pls stay strong and keep the faith. Everything will be okay, maybe not tmrw or the day after, but it will be eventually. I believe in you. It doesnt matter how many times you lie. I still believe in you.

Sometimes it just gets to a point whereby you dont really care what's going to happen and if it already happened you dont really care either anyway. Oh yeah I dread waking up every morning. I dont hate school, I just hate all the nonsense that comes along with it.50 more days to promos? Go and die ahhahahahahahaha. And happy birthday dez!

Before you try and save the world, pls save the people in your own backyard first.

I always think abt all the empty promises I've made to her. I wanna chase her all the way to the lift and then smack her pink school bag again, watch her unleash at the playground, giving me a big hug right before she goes up the school bus. I miss how I always force her to watch movies with me in ping's room and she'll always end up sleeping on my lap. I love that kid to bits.

I like to type in proper english structures and end my sentences with a fullstop. So naturally I only read blogs/lj of such kind. I pride a person's writing style over their words itself. I've always been very disgusted by the sight of incessant smileys and acronyms. It gives me the impression that the person is of no intellect. And I can never comprehend the over-usage of "lol" both on blogs and msn alike. It doesnt even make sense to use it anyway because technically it means laugh/laughing out loud, so its more of an emotion than an expression of words. People should say I'm lol-ing now instead of just saying lol and leaving it as it is. Aesthetically speaking, lol doesnt even look good at all. Words ending with the alphabet T are the nicest.

Woah not bad lieutanant jelly puff just called to ask if I want to attend NDP later. He's such an awesome guy who has never lost his temper at me before, though I always disturb him and his SAF personnel almost every year during the parade. That aside, I would like to declare absolute love towards the black knights. Their manoeuvres are the epitome of speed and power fusioned together. I really like the chevron roll and afterburner climb! It should have been shown at last year's NDP instead of the flaming heart shit.

There's no such thing as "loved". Love has no past tense. If you ever stop loving someone, then you never truly loved them in the first place.

Havent had b&j ice-cream for quite some time cos no one in the family really bothers to buy it for me anymore. Much thanks to hazel for treating the class today. And I was talking to T abt smth which got me irritated on wednesday.

J: walao she's a bitch
T: she's worse than a bitch. she's a slut!

Set off to chinese garden with jieqi and duofu. It's such a pretty place! I climbed up the pagoda and I could see the bridge at the japanese gardens. Didnt fully explore the place yet, so I'm definitely going back again one day. Over to the science centre for da vinci exhibit. Leonardo's such a genius. All those mechanic models he came up with are so complex that it's beyond human. I want him to be my friend so he can tutor me for physics and make sure I stop failing it. Stayed a little longer and walked to omni cos I've been wanting to try the telescope at the observatory since ages! Cloudly skies, so couldnt see jupiter/stars. But at least I got to touch it. Happy.

I'm very affected by the fact that no one passed me any post-its. Seriously just damn everyone else. You're not even worth fighting for. We'll be history.

L: i reblogging my tumblr like siao
L: too many nice things to share
J: share me. i'm nice.
L: i'd rather have you all to myself

Hearing stuff like these always keeps me warm and fuzzy inside. And pris heung thanks for the sms too, I love you and meet up soon. Not forgetting the awesome message I got from melissa this afternoon as well. Browsed facebook photos and saw the sweet comment gay left on one of the picture we took last saturday. Dont know if you're seeing this, but gay I miss you a hell lot too. Running along corridors, lying on the floor beside toilets, climbing into rubbish bins and drawing on you while you slept. Those days were the best. Swear.

Apparently 3 people in class are H1N1-positive and everyone else is falling sick one by one. I'm waiting for my turn. Another 4 got sent home this morning. You should have seen the class size during chinese, 10 people only. Pathetic. I want to wear mask to school.

This week is hell.

We're young only once.