Fear everything. We're just human.

I had only 3 minutes left to save a question thats worth 8 marks during the econs paper. I'm aiming for an E grade. Really, aim.

I bought fran patisserie just now, damn nice. One of my goals in life is to try out all the diff pocky flavours in the world. I need to raid the shelves of mediya soon.

Nobody told me we are not supposed to scribble on the MF 15 booklet because another batch of people are using it again. I completely treated the booklet like a rough paper and even wrote "maths suck" on the cover. I was the only idiot who wrote on the booklet.

The cheese pizza's ready.

I'm a failure ahhahahahahahaha I'm going to eat hello pandas now.

"If you fail your exams you dont cry. You totally deserve it"

"Ya la everyday sleep sleep sleep. Die then you know"

"Tmrw you scan through the exam paper first. If its very difficult, then you start coughing a few times and ask the teacher to let you come home"

I LOVE MY MOM AND DAD.

The death of mj seriously has to stop hogging all the headlines. It's pissing me off. I dont even know him, why do I even care that he died. I'm more worried abt whether anyone's buying dinner for me tonight.

I'm self-delcaring that I'm the worst person to make study dates with. So pls think twice if you wanna study with me. I keep dumping people so I can go back home to sleep. RACHEL I'M DAMN SORRY ABT JUST NOW HAHAHAHAHAHA.

There's some illogical part of me that still believes if you want Superman to show up, first there's got to be someone worth saving.

Because I believe, I try, I conquer.

Whether or not you believe in fate, comes down to one thing: who do you blame when something goes wrong. Do you think it's your fault- that if you'd tried better, worked harder, it wouldn't have happened? Or do you just chalk it up to circumstances?

I know people who'll hear about the people who died, and will say that it was God's will. I know people who'll say it was bad luck. And then there's my personal favourite. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I'm secretly happy that the holidays didnt get extended. Seriously cant wait for myes to come soon so everything can just be over and done with once and for all. I'm such a slacker. I'm not even halfway through revision yet. I sleep three times the amount I study. But heck. I'm not going to worry and stress over it, I'm just going to eat hello panda everyday. Damn excited for next friday already.

Vigoriously searching facebook for quizzes to kill the unbearable ennui within.

The soft palate in my mouth is damaged beyond hope. I can feel it slowly peeling off. I ate a pocky in a vertical position right inside my mouth. I'm feeling even worse now, because my mom just brought home two tins of choc cookies from harrods specially flew in from europe. But I cant eat it cos the palate's injured.Why are all the odds against me.

I met both gabriel and jonathan one after the other just now, it was coincidental. Managed to catch up quite a bit with jonathan. At least now I'm aware of everyone's situation back at home. I miss stratford, gabriel, dickson, nicholas and jo very very much. Havent seen them since the christmas party last year. But anyway I really hope jo starts to strive for her goals already. I dont want her to regret. She promised to come join me in jc. Rainbow doughnut, jia you.

Technically I had no breakfast this morning since I woke up in the afternoon. Grabbed a cup of orange juice, was very motivated to clear at least one chapter of physics, took out physics notes, drank somemore orange juice, and received an sms from isabella. She just returned from germany so we met up. And thats when everything went downhill. But since she bought me a bottle of cooling water cos I was having fever, I shall forgive all her wrongdoings and love her all over again hehezx. And isabella if you're looking at this, rmb to collect your nintendo dsi dont forget! If not I cannot play also.

I bought listerine. But I want to try colgate plax though. Couldnt find it just now. Damn sad life.

I'm beginning to think I made a smart move in signing up for a mobtv account.

Right now I'm watching the third episode of unexpected access and I had to pause the video because I just couldnt continue watching it. It's abt a young boy who's at KK hospital dressing up the wounds/burns he got during a fire. The moment you see the nurse removing the previous dressing on him and hearing his wails, it just tears you apart seriously. He's so badly burnt. I'm actually tearing now cos it's really really very saddening to see him like this.

Ok I'm going to summon all the courage I have now and continue watching the episode. It's a real-life footage of a operation on an infant's skull. It's like they tear off the skin on the infant's head and fold it against his eyes so they can begin the operation. I feel queasy already.

"没有信心的 number one 终究还是 number one."


Completed the entire tpc's sequel. Superb show.

Even though no one's complaining yet, I know I've been a sucker these days towards the family. I was so angry because no one offered to get the printer inks for me just now even though I stated very explicitly that I wouldnt be free tmrw. So I said some nasty stuff towards them. I'll apologize to them individually later.

Got down for a short run in the evening with kashing. Immense pain on my left shoulder. But I just want to run. Coincidentally lishan was running at the stadium too! Her new piercings makes me feel inspired to pierce my brain. I wonder if you can actually feel the pain, or would you actually die before the pain hits. Right, I was just joking and you know it. But it's worth a thought anyway.

I'm so happy I'm meeting pris heung and amp girl for breakfast tmrw at kfc. The breakfast sets looks damn good on the adverts. I'm definitely going to get the waffles one! And isabella can you hurry get yr ass away from germany and come back soon! I miss you!

If heaven breaks, who's going to fix it?

It's always the people who think they know everything, that turns out to be the ones that actually know nothing. You, too obvious already lah.

Ok I finally got to meet up with rae. I brought her to this super cool study corner at the void deck of kimpoh's house. But halfway through she decided that she wanted to shit so we went up to kimpoh's house to use the toilet. Had to call to make sure someone was in. Then yay so lucky cos dylan was at kimpoh's place too and so is my fav girl jerica! Reached the house, then rae said she got no feel so shit anym. Kill me. Decided to stay on inside the house. I bummed around the place and disturbed jerica hahahahaha she super irritating but damn cute. Cant wait for the exams to end so I can go over for sleepovers since the ng family said they missed me.

I gave pris heung my facebook account's password so she could make use of it to play those games which has limited tries per day. I pissed her off just now and she's taking revenge by changing my status to "i hate myself hehe ^^". So if you ever happen to chance abt such nonsensical remarks on my facebook status, you know it's not me. But whatever happens pris heung I still love you k, thanks for the daily wake-up calls.

Maybe its high time you wake up from yr slumber and take stock of your own life. I cant possibly be watching out for you every minute. I dont want to just walk away and leave you to die. But I have a life. I have things to do.

Anyway. I miss my girl.

The scariest part about lying is not getting found out, but when you start falling for the lies yourself.

I finally got the applet at the DBS page working and carried out the transaction for mobtv. Yes, I've got a mobtv account now. I must watch unexpected access to make my life complete. Its a really cool show cos you get to see embalmer pull out intestines out of corpses. It's super informative. I'm not perverse.

Gonna sleep now, and lover's going to give me a wake-up call later! Get the crime scene plasters for me if you see it tmrw!

I think I'm running a fever. Maybe it's becos I ran at 2.30am this morning and bathing straightaway after I came back. I should go down to raffles medical now. I feel as if my soul left me.

Meeting xinyi tmrw, "can I bring my girlfriend along?".

At any crossroads in life, half of us are destined to take a wrong turn.

Ok so I was late for the SOT crash course in the morning. I felt so intimidated becos almost every one else in the class is one year older than me. Everyone super kanchiong for a'levels already, they took down notes like crazy. I slept behind the tys book and yeetong didnt catch me. But frankly speaking the course's really useful and for a moment, I felt I could see a glimpse of hope for GP. Yeetong makes alot of sense when he teaches and everything it just so crystal-clear. All teachers under the sg education system should seriously learn from him.

Show more sincerity if you really want to meet up. I get irritated too, you know?

Always knew I approached things differently from most people. Thoughts just arent parallel to social consensus. Never found out why it's so. But after reading some privatised writings of a close friend, I think I've found the reason. I dont need closures. I'm not emotionally tough or whatsover, I just dont need closures.

I think the picture of my life is painted too well, to whomever knows me. Everything is hidden perfectly out of view. Even the closest ones around me don't know anything about me. I'm really really not who you think I am. I dont share secrets with anyone, so its safe to say that practically no one knows me well enough.

The people you love most always turn out to be the ones that breaks your heart the hardest. And its crazy how you just keep fallling in love with them over and over again. I love you five.

I just came back from a run. What's new anyway. There were hardly anyone around, so I had a very clear view of what's ahead. Feels really good. I dont think I'm addicted to running. It's just easier for me to get started on it now I guess.

There's so many picoult's books on the table. I aim to finish one of it by this holiday. I need to rekindle my love for reading. It's a nice feeling to get yourself all immersed in a good read and just shut out the world completely.

Havent been doing anything constructive, with respect to the academics. I'm stubbornly clinging on to the notion that I have all the time in the world to finish revising my work. I need to wake up. But before that, lemme catch some movies first.

Decided to change the blog layout. Nothing spectacular, nothing fanciful. Just picked a random one from blogger's defaults. But I forgot to save the page elements, hence the missing links and tagboard. I'll get them back pretty soon.

The weather's being a total bitch. I desperately got a bottled chrysanthemum from the medical hall I passed by this morning. I want to shoot the sun down seriously.

An arbitrary turning along the roads, I'd be elsewhere; I'd be different.

Dont know if its the weather or what, but I felt so hot and unsettled last night that I couldnt get to sleep. I'm not exaggerating. I really didnt sleep at all. So I decided to get up and go for a morning run, at 630am. There's hardly anyone around. Surrounding feels really peaceful and serene. A great outlet to sort out your thoughts.

I can easily put up a pretence and tell you everything's ok. But I'm not doing so because I want you to understand the intensity of the entire situation. Yes, it's a trivial matter and everything will blow over soon. But the thing is, I can forgive but I can never never forget. I dont why I'm made like this either.

I need a new layout for this site.

Impromptu decision to bring jerica out for lunch today. Havent seen her for a really long time. If time permits, I'll be bringing her out more often in the future since its much more convenient to do so now. Thank god for circle line, it only takes approx 4 mins for me to get down to bishan from my place.

We had ice-cream at haagen dazs after lunch. Or rather, I had. That silly girl didnt tell me she doesnt take ice-cream! I had to finish the 3 scoops of waffle cone ice-cream all by myself.

WHEN.WILL.I.GET.THE.CALL.OF.URGENCY.TO.START.MY.REVISION.

Runner, dreamer, lover.

Just had some green tea snow-ice and I'm suffering from brain freeze now. So I shall not study tonight. I'm quite pissed ok becos I was looking forward to gelare's ice-cream (tues half price!), but there werent any seats for us.

I bought a new bag from airwalk! Isabella got herself one too! And I'm trying to psycho her to name her ipod 'flippy'. So both our ipods can be flappy and flippy. Anybody with an ipod interested to be floppy? I'm really serious abt naming my ipod 'flappy', I'm gonna get it engraved on my ipod soon!

Talked to miss hazel for abt 3 hours or so, after the econs lesson just now. Talked abt life, academics, family, people and everything else. I believe we got to know each other more through the things we've shared with one another. Awesome time spent.

"You have very strong resilience."

And I looked towards the window for a few seconds before replying.

"Yeah because it takes you further. And higher."

-

I'm going to meet isabella for dinner tonight. That girl's leaving for germany tmrw!

I HAVE A TAGBOARD NOW.

Pls show some support and tag okay. I will delete the tagboard away if I do not get a respectable amount of tags per day. I get emotionally traumatised when I realize that I'm not as popular as I think. Disillusionment, you know.

You can use vulgarities on the cbox as well cos I switched the filter off! But you wont be able to insert spastic smileys because I dont like the sight of them.

Attended sheyl ting and elvis low's wedding ceremony at bedok meth church this morning. She looks unbelievably good in her gown and mr low's damn cute when he was serenading miss ting with some song which no one could decipher because of his horrendous singing. Sang several christian songs and prayed for them before their solemnisation and everything’s so strangely familiar.

Though I’m not a big fan of REW and chapel sessions, I really miss the 10 years over at plmgs whereby everything little thing was covered in pray and worship. I vividly rmb the year I was in primary 3, it was raining during sports day and the teachers made the entire school bow our heads and pray for the rain to stop. And the rain really did stop. Amazing right. This left a very deep impression in me becos it was the year whereby I won the first trophy in my life.

Had a great time catching up with the plmgs teachers and fellow classmates around. Cant believe hazelin got married last week. And my fav amaths teacher wong gimz leng is still as irritating as ever hahahahahaha. I’m suddenly reminded of the o’levels period whereby she would call me every night to ask me how the papers went. She really encouraged me a lot during that period whenever I rant to her over the phone abt how badly I’m going to fail every paper. Both of us went crazy over the phone on the day aft amaths paper two, we started blabbering rubbish and laughed hysterically at nothing in particular. I’m gonna date her out for a meal someday when I’m finally free from work.

Anyway, the food we had during the reception was awesomely nice. Loved the cupcakes and choc fondue! This totally evens out the 5.6km I ran (yes I actually had the motivation to do so) yesterday.

Woah my head feels like it exploding anytime ahahahaha maybe its becos I didnt take any naps this afternoon. I realized I havent printed abt 30 pages worth of pgeog notes (think I sat through 3 lectures without notes, awesome me) and I cant retrieve it anywhere else either so watch me die for the upcoming mids. I still dont get paleo argh.

I vow to only touch my books on sunday. It is a sin to study on the first week of the holidays. Aint good for the social and mental development of a teenager. Btw I think that people who say "forever and ever" is stupid. It doesnt even make sense. Forever itself already encompasses the entire eternity of time, there isnt really a pragmatic need for the "ever" behind it.

Ok I'm going for a short run now! I am to live longer and partially because I'm training up for next year's napfa. You believe?

I just want you to be ok and get back onto the right track in life. I need you to believe in me. I've got your back, and I swear I wont let you go through all of these alone. Promise.

"You're definitely emotionally more mature than most teenagers your age."

I've heard the above statement before. But its only in situations like this whereby it really bears significance.

Got back to sch cos I need to settle some stuff. Bummed around the hall by playing vball with some other 0932 people. Headed to the sch library to cool myself and I realized the sch library actually has lotsa awesome movie titles. I'm tempted to borrow everything. Soon, soon!

K: omg i havent started studying for my MYEs yet
J: yea me too
F: i havent even found my notes yet, dont even talk abt studying
K: im screwed lah
F: i dont even feel the urgency to study yet
F: we all are bloody slackers
J: not studying doesnt mean we're slackers. we're just showing some PL spirit.

Whats up for dinner tonight.

I've decided to be a good kid and study.

I addressed my mom as "baby" and she said I'm annoying.

Met up with some 0932 people to play vball at sentosa. Our vball is definitely the most gorgeous one you've ever seen- smashing mixtures of silver, black and neon orange. Played for awhile and decided to head for the kayaks instead. But the tide was low, and the personnel from rasa sentosa didnt allow us to rent the kayaks. Havent been kayaking for a really long time, gotta find some time to do it soon. I want to own a kayak and travel around the world with it.

Bought a silicon case for flappy (my new iPod hehehehe). It was a good buy since the store was having a sale. All I'm lacking now is a screen protector to make flappy perfect. Sorry if you're irritated by the self-imposed hype over flappy. I'm so happy and excited since its first time I'm owning an iPod. You should have seen kuek, mich and shermin's faces when I kept shoving flappy into their faces and then forcing them to agree with me that flappy looks good.

Straits time, sports section's first page. You'll see that acs(i) guy's picture on the righthand side. We started off by running aimlessly around the tanjong pagar estate when we were only 3 years old. Quite amazed that he can actually shine in the field of athletics and being what he is today. If he still tries to pull down my fbts (he has been doing so his entire life, crazy ass)again the next time we meet, I will chop off his legs one day so he cant run anymore.

Shall go do my stuff now.